Raging Rapids and CaterKillers:
A Ten Mile Hike to the Bridge to Nowhere
If you want ROCKS. If you want SWIMMING HOLES. If you want BUNGEE JUMPING and CATERPILLERS WHO TURN LEAVES INTO LACE. Then this hike is for you.
There are plenty of other people who explain the Bridge to Nowhere Hike (located 1 mile SE of LA) blow by blow MUCH better than I can. I recommend Modern Hiker’s trail guide. He’s a rockstar. I promise that is the last pun for the rest of this article.
But here’s a little additional advice from the Comedy Travel Guide:
#1) Bring 10 times more water than you thought. We ran out two hours through. Yea. We would have died. We were so desperate we decided that the clear and fresh tasting river water was good to drink. We haven’t got the runs yet, so I’m sure it’s completely safe for you too.** And we were lucky enough to meet Brandy and Keith who gave us a Gatorade. A whole GATORADE!?! That was so freakin’ nice. You won’t be that lucky, so pack your own.
#2) Don’t lose Dan. We lost Dan, and spent an hour trying to find him. It kinda ruined the hike, finally getting to the Bridge to Nowhere, realizing he wasn’t there and turning right back frantically worrying about helicoptering his body out of the gulch. Luckily, we found him. You won’t be that lucky, so stick together.
#3) Don’t pack a ton of food. Who are you, cookie monster? You don’t need those oreos. Just pack a lunch and a snack bar each. It’s only six hours. Use the rest of your room for water. We ended up with NO water and a ton of stupid food. I was in charge of packing food. And yes. I am cookie monster.
#4) Get wet! Our first river crossing we actually took our shoes off. Our twelfth river crossing we realized. Duh, half this hike is IN a river. After we embraced that it made going way easier. And it’s hot so you dry off fast.
Go on this hike! It’s so fun! Call me and I’ll go on it with you. Sure it’s ten miles. TEN MILES! (5 there, 5 back. The hike only elevates 800 feet and you can probably do the whole thing in six hours) But you’ll sound like such a BAD ASS when you say it.
“Yea. I hiked ten miles today. Whatevs” Then I ate a donkey.***.
**I have absolutely no authority to say that
***Don’t eat a donkey. What did it ever do to you?
****We did this hike in august. Adjust precautions for your month of hiking.