View from Mt. San Gabriel, the Mountain that shamed Mt. Disappointment

IE. This hike will not disappoint you. As long as you appreciate drama!

Towering above the Los Angeles skyline, Mt. Disappointment stands proud, despite it’s name.  In 1894, early surveyors saw the peak and believed it to be the tallest point in the San Gabriel Mountains.  They made the climb only to find that they were completely wrong.

It was pretty easy for them to walk five minutes over to the highest peak, The San Gabriel Peak, only 1/2 a mile away, but they were so pissed at themselves that they took out their anger on the first mountain, labeling it for all time MT. DISAPPOINTMENT.

Great views along the way

If you would like to pay homage to the second highest peak of the San Gabriel Mountains…and then walk five minutes over to the Highest Peak. Follow our footsteps!  Below are directions and then a picture tour of our hike including a panoramic video!

DIRECTIONS: From LA, take California 2 East into La Canada Flintridge. Continue on the 2 into the Angeles National Forest. You’ll be twisting and turning for a while. Turn right at Mount Wilson road. Continue past the little campground Red Box area. Turn right on the first paved rode you get to after this (about a minute and a half). Immediately on your right you’ll see a parking area.

If it’s all parked up just park on the main road. No one’s gonna tow you. Supposedly you have to have an Adventure Pass. You can buy one at “Jay’s Shell”, the gas station on the right when you get off the freeway at La Canada. It’s only $5.00 for a car for one day, or if you’re real optimistic about your outdoorsmanship, get the $30.00 year long pass.

This is the wrong way to go. The trail is actually to your left, up the mountain.

Oh. There's the trail! Right above the parking lot.

Uphill!

Nuclear Sized Pine Cones!

Fuck are you serious? Civilization?!

Beautiful flora

SNOW!

Make your way through dramatic landscape.

awww this tree is disappointed

Picnic! This is an example of yummy, easily carried snacks!

Want more hikes? Check out our adventurous hike up a river to The Bridge To Nowhere!

Time Travel with American Airlines

You only get this view of the luxury TVs if you fork out the extra $2000

Through a bizarre series of events involving air miles, flight schedules, and over-protective mothers, I ended up flying FIRST CLASS to New Hampshire this Christmas.  I was a little worried that the luxury level would make me feel uncomfortable.  I’m not  a high roller. This was a fluke! And boy was I out of my element! I sure see why millionares shell out thousands for the extreme luxuries of the front of the plane.  Now you can too.

My industrial grey leather seat was practically cashmere embedded with diamonds!. I got a FREE McDonald’s quality breakfast: scrambled eggs, TWO slices of sausage, almost-ripe fruit, and a biscuit. No wonder people pay double to quadruple the price for this kind of luxury!

McDonalds: $4.99, American Airlines: $500

Did I mention the best part? American Airlines First Class isn’t just an airplane…it’s also a  TIME MACHINE!

I actually got to TRAVEL BACK IN TIME to air travel of the 1985!   I had almost forgotten: NO internet!  Cigarette Lighters instead of plugs for your electronics! Cathode ray tubes! WOW! I can’t believe I’ve been spending my money-strapped adult years buying economy class tix from state-of-the-art modern airlines when I could have been paying $1000-$8000 extra for the retro FIRST  CLASS experience.   Can you believe American Airlines is actually going bankrupt!?!

Just in case you too would like to spend extra air miles or $1000s of dollars to experience the luxuries of American Airlines First Class, here is a little visual tour of my experience.

Vast Leg Room! (I am 5'2'')

Plastic tray table comes out of the ARM REST bitches!

WAY classier plastic cups

1000 points for the on-board baked chocolate chip cookies. Suck it economy!

OK, they DID give us Samsung Tablets full of current movies AND unlimited booze. But it was 8am! I couldn't even get sloshed and keep my dignity. So I only got a little sloshed. Come on! It was my first and LAST time in dum dum duuuum....FIRST CLASS!

This little piggy wants wine, this little piggy wants beer, and this little piggy wants cupcakes, sushi, and pizza. What bar could possibly please them all? 

Grocery Store Themed Wine Bar!

The Whole Foods Tapas and Wine bar!  It’s located INSIDE the enormous Arroyo Whole Foods in Pasadena.  If the somewhat cheesy furniture and locale makes you turn up your snobby hipster nose, just think of it as a ‘Grocery Store’ themed Wine Bar. How beat-the-man-at-his-own-game chic is that?

Quaint Furniture

Slap down whatever $$ you want and the bartender will give you as many tastes as he can from the On Tap Wines.

You can get a few expensive ones or a ton of cheap ones for the same price.  Or you can take a chance and order a full glass. I got 2 expensive ones and 2 cheap ones for $10.00. GOOD DEAL!

Beer

Don’t like wine? $3.00 artisan beers all day and night. I AM SERIOUS!

Best of all, this is one of the largest Whole Foods in the country. They have a wood fire pizza oven, sushi chefs, a coffee bar, cupcake bakery and smoothie bar all within 10 feet.  You can bring any food over to the Wine Bar and enjoy it with your friends. You could buy a bag of 365 Organic Chocolate Chip Cookies, a spicy tuna roll and a bowl of clam chowder. You could buy two dozen cupcakes and a frozen steak! (eatatyourownrisk). 

Sure Whole Foods products are overpriced for groceries. But they’re UNDER PRICED for bar fare. Plus you don’t have to tip on them.

My one quibble is that there were no tapas at the bar. (Seriously, where were the tapas?) That part of the name is probably a joke.

Bring all your friends! Share some sushi!

VISIT THE TAPAS AND WINE BAR! @

WHOLE FOODS ARROYO PARKWAY IN PASADENA

465 South Arroyo Parkway
Pasadena, CA 91105 USA

It’s super rad.

Chic-fil-A Hollywood

Don’t worry about what to order when visiting the first Hollywood Chic-fil-A on Sunset, worry about who to bring.  This much-hyped Georgian fast food chain is known for it’s chicken sandwiches and happy cow mascot.  But honestly, I would have ho-hummed over the meal I got there, if it wasn’t for one thing: My Southern Belle.

Kate is a Gentile Host Wherever You May Be Dining

What could have been a Guilt Ridden Calorie Fest became a Joyful Gourmet Event! No one will make you appreciate two pieces of bread, a fried chicken patty, and some pickles more than a lady who was grew up loving them.

There's Somethin' About Those Sandwiches

She’ll make sure you order the sweet tea and pick up some Polynesian Sauce for your fries. (Kate says it’s also especially good with the chicken tenders).  Split a shake as dessert for the full experience.

FREE SAMPLES?!??!!? THAT'S HOSPITALITY!

*A Southern Gentleman might do the trick, but I just bet Southern Belles have a special appreciation for Chic-fil-A  with a dear friend on a warm summer night that a man will just never understand. But if you’re a dude, now you know where to find the Southern Belle of your dreams. She’s in line at the Chic-fil-A.

Her Joy is Infectious!

A Southern Belle Always Has Her Parisol

The Coffee Commissary

Sleek Sexy Snob Coffee

Happy Customer

Let me just say that the 6th best coffee in the world is pretty darn delicious and their iced latte is divine.  Definitely worth the $4.00.

The Commissary also has yummy pastries, muffins,  and supposedly also sells Extra Virgin Olive Oil Granola. I’ve never had it, but you can tell me how it is.  They also sell Coca Cola. Which is weird.

Responsible Coffee

Even a Blackboard Behind the Shelf

There is minimal seating and the seating they have is hard wood. No cozy fluffy reading corners here.  REAL COFFEE SNOBS LOVE HARD WOODEN STOOLS

Hard Wooden Slabs For Serious Coffee Drinkers

Vests! Skinny Ties!

They also have blackboards. Blackboards are just great. I love them. I’m willing to pay $4.00 for coffee if you have a blackboard.

Peruse Philosophy Books

You have to pay for those. But you can peruse** them for free.

What's With the Coke?

Love & Lattes Go Together

6th Best Coffee In the World

The Slightly Less Guilty Guilty Pleasure

Don't Call Them Donuts

People are nuts for fōnuts. They are so nuts for fōnuts that you better get there before noon if you expect to snag a banana chocolate or chorizo cheddar one.
We arrived at 1pm  and they were sold out of everything except RUM, Chocolate Hazelnut, and Rosemary Olive Oil.  The place looked baren. The employees looked exhausted. They had been ravaged by  fōnut nuts since 9am.

We bought one of each kind…  And there in the tableless war-zone of the gluten-free bake shop, we became  fōnut nuts too.  BECAUSE THEY’RE DELICIOUS!

Tired chefs. Happy Customers

Know why they’re delicious?

#1) Because of the genius recipies of co-creators Waylynn Lucas and Nancy Truman,

#2) They are STILL BAD FOR YOU.  They’re just less bad for you. ie: baked not fried, no refined ingredients.

But if you still want to cut back on a few calories, Fōnuts has a solution. They provide: A BIG OL’  DANCE FLOOR and KICK ASS TUNES!

Just Dance the Calories Away

There’s No chairs, NO tables, at Fōnuts,  just wide open dancin’ space.  Chef Waylynn told us, “We like to change it up. Some days we play Johnny Cash, some days Led Zeplin”.   When we were there it was Hip Hop.

LA MILL COFFEE! RETRO STOVE COFFEE STATION!!

So pile your plate high with as many sumptuous Maple Bacon, Cinnamon Sugar, and Hawaiian fōnut as you can eat (or afford…whichever comes first). You’ll be fine, as long as you sweat off some of those gluten-free calories by bustin’ some moves on the dance floor.

Get There Early!

Stools for Relaxing after Dancing

ps: LAMILL coffee! $2.50! BARGAIN!  Fōnut $3.50 NOT SO MUCH BARGAIN, but like I said, they’re freakin’ delicious.

Sweeet Dance Floor! Use that Sugar!!

Rum and Rosemary Fonuts

Free 1 1/2 hour parking in back. That's a lot of dancing!

Get Wet

Raging Rapids and CaterKillers:

A Ten Mile Hike to the Bridge to Nowhere

If you want ROCKS. If you want SWIMMING HOLES. If you want BUNGEE JUMPING and CATERPILLERS WHO TURN LEAVES INTO LACE.  Then this hike is for you.

There are plenty of other people who explain the Bridge to Nowhere Hike (located 1 mile SE of LA) blow by blow MUCH better than I can.  I recommend Modern Hiker’s trail guide. He’s a rockstar. I promise that is the last pun for the rest of this article.

But here’s a little additional advice from the Comedy Travel Guide:

You Wont Meet Someone This Nice

#1) Bring 10 times more water than you thought. We ran out two hours through. Yea. We would have died. We were so desperate we decided that the clear and fresh tasting river water was good to drink. We haven’t got the runs yet, so I’m sure it’s completely safe for you too.** And we were lucky enough to meet Brandy and Keith who gave us a Gatorade. A whole GATORADE!?! That was so freakin’ nice. You won’t be that lucky, so pack your own.

Where's Dan? DAN??!!!! God D*&%$!!!!!!

#2) Don’t lose Dan. We lost Dan, and spent an hour trying to find him.  It kinda ruined the hike, finally getting to the Bridge to Nowhere, realizing he wasn’t there and turning right back  frantically worrying about helicoptering  his body out of the gulch.  Luckily, we found him. You won’t be that lucky, so stick together.

If you DON'T lose Dan, you can enjoy Bungee Jumping of the bridge.

#3) Don’t pack a ton of food. Who are you, cookie monster? You don’t need those oreos. Just pack a lunch and a snack bar each. It’s only six hours. Use the rest of your room for water. We ended up with NO water and a ton of stupid food.  I was in charge of packing food. And yes. I am cookie monster.

Oooo Natural Goodness

#4) Get wet! Our first river crossing we actually took our shoes off.  Our twelfth river crossing we realized. Duh, half this hike is IN a river.  After we embraced that it made going way easier. And it’s hot so you dry off fast.

Go on this hike! It’s so fun! Call me and I’ll go on it with you. Sure it’s ten miles. TEN MILES! (5 there, 5 back. The hike only elevates 800 feet and you can probably do the whole thing in six hours)  But you’ll sound like such a BAD ASS when you say it.

“Yea. I hiked ten miles today. Whatevs”  Then I ate a donkey.***.

Misleading...this is on the way to the hike.

You take the high road and I'll Take the Low Road

CaterKillers did this beautiful thing

Lace Weaving CaterKillers

Not Exactly Raging Rapids. More like a nice Bathtub

**I have absolutely no authority to say that

***Don’t eat a donkey. What did it ever do to you?

****We did this hike in august. Adjust precautions for your month of hiking.

You. Me. And Everyone We Know.

Pedestals for Strangers

Discovering The Curve MOCA and Miranda July

Are you over anxious? Under loved? Over stimulated? Under funded? Over overwhelmed? Or under understood? Do you need a Burrbery think-bubble around your head?

Then Miranda July made Eleven Heavy Things for you.

Until October 23rd, 2011,  you and your friends can interact with Miranda’s eleven things  on the lawn outside the Pacific Design Center on Melrose.

If you are feeling hyper emotional  (or hyper allergic) that day, they might even make you cry.

If you are an atheist that day, they might make you think how we are all robots, programmed to follow the same roller coaster of emotional torment for no reason at all. Then you might cry too.

But crying is fun, and good for the skin. So go see this exhibit. It’s interactive for God’s sake. How fun is that?

And while you’re feeling poignant, pick up a copy of Miranda July’s short story collection: No One Belongs Here More than You , because it’s super good. It’s like you’re standing on twelve of these pedestals at once, balancing precariously above the Earth, and understanding everything as if for the first time.

Beware

It's true!

Sincere

Tricky!

Me.

P.S. In addition to your trip to this exhibit (or after Oct 23rd, 2011) you can check out exquisitely designed, obscenely expensive furniture at the Pacific Design Center on week days, and bland depressing minimalist modern art made of trash at the The Curve/MOCA space behind the Design Center on weekends. It’s free..which is a little over-priced.

But the fountain outside is pretty.

Pretty Fountain, Expensive Furniture, Ugly Art

Don't you just wanna stick those orange cones into the windows?? No?

Enter if you dare. Or if you are bored. Or hot.

Absolutely Spectacular. Not. Stick w/Miranda July

DOUG and ACEA

Meat Lovers Open Vegan Cafe for All!

Elderberry on Sunset

Meet Doug. Doug is from South Jersey and loves hamburgers. He also cooks a mean vegan corn chowder.  It’s really good. It even has KALE in it, and it’s good.

Stop when you see VEGAN. Free Parking in Rear!!!

Why does Doug do this when he loves Big Macs so much?   #1) He’s helping his aunt out who just opened Elderberries, the new Vegan, Raw, and Gluten Free cafe/restaurant on Sunset and Curson.  #2) He’s good at it.

Acea's Book

Meet Acea. That’s Acea Spades Black to be exact. (His mom was a Motorhead fan) He just got a job at Elderberry. He has long hair, wears a Renaissance-esque fanny pack, and uses a feather to bookmark his place in his Fantasy novels. But he isn’t a vegan either, though “He tries”.

They let me try the Gazpacho, Goulash, and Corn Chowder because I write a BLOG.

And you know what? These are my kind of vegan chefs.  If you are vegan then DUH you can only eat VEGAN FOOD, no matter how bad it is.  But if you are NOT vegan and you still choose to eat something that’s vegan, then it must be pretty F&#$* good!

Want to know something else about this place? It’s beautiful.

Airy interior makes you feel ethereal and vegan.

It is light and airy, unlike a lot of dark ‘edgy’ coffee shops in town.  There are tons of huge tables with outlets next to each one so you can work.  

It’s a restaurant so they have salads, soups, a bunch of different burgers and gluten free pastries. Or you can just have a cup of Joe and sit there for three hours and no one will judge you. YOU ARE FREE TO BE YOU!

Good Coffee on a Board. Served with Oat Milk.

According to the regular I sat next to, they have great stand-up comedy on Friday nights on their little stage, run by comedian Rebecca O’Brien.

They also serve Intelligentsia coffee (for a bajillion dollars a cup, but at least you are saving the Gas $ of driving to Silverlake. Disregard this if you live in Silverlake). And they serve it to you on a wooden board. A WOODEN BOARD people. It’s like Little House on the Prarie.

The Vegan Cupcake I Will Throw At You

I had the BEST time  here yesterday and I am already going back again Thurs. I think I might become a regular. So say hi to me when you see me there, or I will throw a vegan cupcake at you.

Elderberries Green Cafe

7564 West Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90046-3413

Their Facebook Page w/info

“Elderberries”. Did your father smell of them? If you don’t get that, click here and learn something.

So many tables for happy typing or chatting.

Book n stuff

Acea and Doug at work

Rebecca O'Brien Stage and Shop Entrance

TREE man says: Take to the STREETS

The Real

ART IN THE STREETS

Exhibit

Nice try, MOCA. You took the art and you took the history and you displayed it all fastidiously in your industrial-esque downtown warehouse. I went. I paid. I ooohhed and even aahhhed.

FAKE street inside the MUSEUM. I'm serious.

But I could have titled this post EXTRA EXTRA! MUSEUM STEALS ALL RELEVANCY OF ITS EXHIBIT,  because what were you missing MOCA?  What were you missing? That’s right. The street.

If someone came in(from the street) with a bottle of spray paint and started arting it up on your pretty white industrial walls,

This woman would FREAK.

you’d have an anal-retentive art-curator freak out.

And your exhibit closed yesterday. What are the people to do without your bright flourescent lights and ‘faux dangerous alley ways’ to show them an artistic movement?  

crisp white walls surrounding elegantly placed street art. oooo ahhhhh

They must dare to park their car and wander……………..

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The Comedy Travel Guide of Los Angeles Presents: The Real ART IN THE STREETS Exhibit

Our Route. : Melrose between Crescent Heights and La Brea.  

Recognize TREE man?

What if you touched the art at Moca? Shit would go down! ahem: that's Caleb Bacon of The Gentleman's Club Podcast: www.gentlemensclubpodcast.com

I appreciate that they color coordinated the burka with the awning

Mixed media: stencil and free hand graffiti. This Graffiti art is thinking about graffiti art.

A woman riding an elephant riding a subway train holding a sword? yes please.

Background/Foreground collaboration

TREE man strikes again

This wall that had boasted great art a day earlier had JUST been painted grey. An improvement??? See the police officer at the end? Boooo!

Turns out the police officer and this artist just box at this gym together and he is actually a FAN of the street art and excited about the artist from Exit Through the Gift Shop who will be doing the next art piece on this wall....opps....

It's Like they KNEW I was coming....

Colorful truck in a Colorful neighborhood. It has an Opinion.

Max on Melrose

LA City Sponsored Art...at least they tried to make it look pretty

This could have been a beige electric eye sore, but instead....

Always wondered what the back looked like

Next to my ATM....

nice.

Examples of art on other walks: The LA River,  and SilverLake

fade out music